#we get mainly alexs pov

[perfectlywrongformend3s]

I need you-Cole Walter

A/n: Well I might have fallen for yet another fictional character. So please be prepared for many with him. Now on to the story...

-Samantha

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Cole's POV

I was sitting around my dining room table with my brothers due to getting in trouble at school. I was growing tired of sitting here not wanting to talk to Alex after he told the school how I bawled to mom and dad about when my football dreams ended, even though I didn't start any rumors about him. Danny was reading his lines, making everyone get annoyed. 

" Yeah, I'm with Isaac. Stop. And you guys, can you just, like, figure this out? Because, like this fight is affecting all of us now." Nathan said  

" Really? It seems like it's mainly affecting me, though, right?" I then moved my head to my eye. " You know, the one with the black eye?" I stated 

Which made all my brothers look over at me, I let out a sigh before saying,  " All right, fine, I didn't spread the rumor about you crying like a little bitch, I wish I had, of course cause you snitched me to Dad, but I didn't." 

" I didn't snitch." Alex said 

All I did was give him a look which made him sigh. " Okay. I should have said,"no" instead of nothing to Dad, but I didn't because of what you said about Jackie and Y/n at the bonfire." 

Which only got the rest of the talking, " What did you say about them at the bonfire?" Lee questioned 

" Yeah, I kind of wanna know too." Danny said 

" You guys, can we focus?" Nathan questioned 

" You know what, Alex? I forgive you for punching me. But I'm really sorry that you can't get over how jealous you are of me." I said 

He leaned up some more. " Jealous? Who could be jealous of someone who clearly peaked their sophomore year of high school?" He said 

I didn't even listen to the others. All I did was get up to go fight him again. " Come over and say that again?" I said only to get stopped by Danny.

" Maybe I will." Alex responded 

" Yo, Nathan, Guys, Nathan!" Lee shouted 

I immediately stopped and went down to him. " Mom! Somebody get Mom and Dad. Go!" I said panicking 

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We were all in the waiting room. All I could do was stare at the wall in front of me. The doctor came which made me stand up along with everyone else, after he told us things Mom and Dad went with him while I sat back down. I pulled out my phone to call Jackie, but decided to call Y/n. I couldn't help, but feel super anxious while listening to the ringing. 

Your POV

I was finishing up some homework when my phone rang. I picked it up to find it was Cole. Even though I was still mad at him I answered because he normally never calls me. 

"Hello" I said 

All I heard was his sigh of relief. " Cole, you never call unless it's important." I said leaning back into my chair. 

" I'm in the hospital..." he started, but immediately got interrupted by me. " What! Are you okay?" I said panicking 

" It's Nathan...he had a seizure...and I'm scared." he replied 

I stood up rushing to my closet to put shoes on. " Is there anything you need?" I questioned with concern holding my phone to my ear with my shoulder while I slipped my shoes on. What I heard next made me feel butterflies. " I need you." he whispered with a voice crack

Which made my heart break. " I'm on my way, Cole. Hang in there okay." I said 

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I quickly found a parking spot and rushed inside the hospital. I scanned the waiting room and quickly found the Walters. I ignored the other ones for right now, my main focus was Cole who was leaning forward on his knees. 

" Hey, come here." I softly said when I was close

He stood up and put his arms around my waist and pulled me into him. I gently drew circles on his back to calm him further. " I'm right here, I'm not leaving." I whispered 

Danny's POV

I looked up when I heard Y/n's soft voice. She completely ignored us and I'm pretty sure it wasn't on purpose. I just watched them hug when I heard Isaac questioned me, " I thought they weren't talking right now?" I sighed, " Yea, but it's Y/n. She would do anything for him even if she was mad." I explained while still watching them. I then heard more footsteps to find Mom and Dad again. 

"All right guys, um Nathan's going to be fine. He'll come back home tomorrow so why don't you guys head back home." Mom said 

Your POV

I pulled away from Cole to find Katherine and George. She looked surprise to see me. " Oh, Y/n I didn't know you came." She said

I walked up to them. " Sorry, this one called and I couldn't not show up." I said pointing to Cole. She nodded and pulled me into a hug. " Well, I'm glad you did. I swear he's always in a better mood when you're around." 

I smiled before pulling away then hugging George quickly. " Well if any of you want to ride with me I don't mind. I only saw Cole raise his hand a little. I nodded before giving the others quick hugs before heading out to take Cole back to the ranch house while Danny drove the rest. 

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We were about 10 minutes away from the ranch house. I glanced over at Cole in my passenger seat. " You doing okay, Cole." I whispered while moving my eyes back to the road.

" Yea, I'm sorry for what I said." he softly said 

I let out a shaky breath. " It's fine, you know I can't stay mad at you." 

" I..." I stopped him

" Let's just talk when you are more rested." I suggested 

He nodded, I then parked my car and waited for him to get out. " You know you can come in." he whispered 

" It's okay, I just wanted to make sure you were okay." I said leaning my head on the headrest. 

" But I want you to come in." he said softly 

I glanced over at him and felt bad for him. " Okay..." I whispered while I got out of my car after I shut it off. 

We both walked to the front door and walked into his house after he unlocked it. " You want to go lie down?" I whispered closing the door

He didn't answer. All he did was walk up the stairs. I followed him up the stairs, we then walked right into his shared room with Danny. I saw him just lie down. I sighed a little and went to pull his shoes off. " Hey you don't need too." he said sitting up

" No, it's fine. I don't mind." I said 

" Here, let me change and fine something for you." he said 

I stopped and watched as he got up to get clothes. He walked over to me with one of his shirts. "Here you can wear this." He said handing me the shirt. I smiled a little and moved to change in the bathroom. 

Once I was done I walked back to his room, to see him in bed already. " Come in." he whispered 

I smiled a little and climbed in. " You know, Cole. Your brother is going to be okay." I whispered to him

" How do you know?" he whispered back

I turned to face him. " Because Nathan is strong and he will not let this ruin him." I softly said 

He looked over at me with a slight smile. " Thank you, Y/n/n." 

" No, need to thank me. Get some rest." I whispered going deeper into the covers. He let his hand intertwine with mine before he fell asleep. I smiled before also going to sleep. 

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Okay so I really hope you all like this one. I'm hoping it makes sense, I think it does but definitely let me know. Please enjoy!

-Samantha

[sky-the-trans-guy00]

Her PR Guy -Ch.1

hey everyone! I started this fic a really long time ago, and decided to re-write it for a different player! Let me know if you have any requests and/or feedback :)

Feel free to use this idea for a fic if you're interested; I have no problem with re-using ideas.

Disclaimer

I wrote this story with a trans male insert because I, myself, am a trans dude, and there hasn’t been a whole lot of content in this fandom for trans men.

Backstory

Y/N worked for an NWSL team post-grad, as a social media assistant and decided to hop across the pond to work for Arsenal WFC,  after being offered a job as their primary content creator and media person.

Y/N’s POV

I met Alessia while working in Arsenal’s Public Relations Department. I had just moved on from an entry-level position at Bay FC with little to no idea what type of world I was stepping into. Armed with a passion for sports and storytelling, my job was to run the social media accounts, and help craft stories that captivated fans and media members alike. What I didn’t realize at the time, is that my story would be worth telling someday, too.

It was my first media day working for Arsenal, and I was totally freaking out. I mean, this was my dream, one that I had fought tooth and nail for. I had never dared to imagine this possibility, but here I was, and I felt woefully unprepared.

Get it together (Y/N)! We worked so hard to get here, and we got this. The board believes in us, and so do I!! You wanted so badly to have a fresh start, and here it is.

I went over to the players and introduced myself, "Hey everyone, my name's (Y/N), my pronouns are he/him, and I'm your new PR guy." A lot of the players seemed stunned, probably because I'm a guy working for an WSL team, so I decided to clear some things up. “I’m also a proud trans man who knows that the future is female, especially in sports. I’ll be mainly working with the photographers and videographers to get content for our socials, but I’m here if you need anything.”

Alessia’s POV

After Y/N walked away I was still captivated.

“He’s a cute one,” said Leah.

“Definitely,” I replied emphatically.

“He could be just what the doctor ordered, with your recent breakup and everything,” added Lotte

“He’s easy on the eyes, that’s for sure,” Alessia responded while looking at you as you walked away from the team, ”Let’s just hope he isn’t too full of himself….”

Y/N’s POV

It’s been over a month since I introduced myself to the players, and I can’t get Alessia Russo out of my head. She’s been flirting with me since we met, but I can barely function in her presence, not to mention I literally work for the team. Before I can get too in my head about it, I get a call from my buddy Alex.

“Hey (Y/N/N)! How’s the new job going?”

“It’s going well,” I replied, “I think I have a crush on one of the players though…”

“I fail to see the problem bro,” said Alex.

“You are a hot eligible bachelor, and any girl would be lucky to have you. You even told me that two of the players are together, so workplace dating is obviously not a problem.”

“Yeah, but I’m not trying to deal with another Karen incident!” I exclaimed.

Karen was a close friend of mine in college who really fucked me over. I managed her campaign for Student Body President, and when she found out I had a crush on her she flipped out and cut me off, only after she won the election. She ignored me for weeks following her win, and when we finally spoke about what had happened, she told me she thought it was best that we ‘keep it professional.’ To add insult to injury, all of our mutual friends decided I wasn’t worth sticking around for. I tried to take the high road and didn’t tell anyone my side of things until it was too late and they had already taken her side.

“How long are you going to let Karen control your life? You can’t keep giving other people your power, bro.”

I knew that he wasn’t wrong, but I wasn’t ready to let go of the past.

“Yeah, but this girl is so out of my league it’s unbelievable. Not to mention, I’m pretty sure she has a girlfriend!”

“You sure about that Y/N?”

“Not entirely, but why would she date a loser like me when she has her pick of almost every queer athlete?”

Much to my chagrin, I was not athletic by any means, which was definitely an insecurity of mine. Deep down, I still felt like the sad, closeted, insecure kid with no friends from Middle and High School, despite all of my work in therapy.

“You may not be athletic, but you’re super kind and loyal as fuck. Trust me when I say that what you think you may lack in physical appearance pales in comparison to the type of person you are. You’re full of green flags— except for your inability to take a good selfie, which most people who know you happen to find endearing. Face it Y/N, the only thing that’s standing in your way is you. You control your own destiny, and you my friend are a catch; remember that.” Said Alex

“Thanks for hyping me up, my guy. I’m definitely going to talk to my therapist about this.” I said.

“As you should, Y/N! I’m here for you if you need anything, and I’m only one call away. You got this homie.”

I ended the call and reflected upon Alex’s advice.

Everything you want is in reach and ripe for the taking, you got this Y/N, I thought to myself.

[tomoyorecs]

Our Old Heroes

Author: AdelaClancy

Rating: E

Word Count: 499,275

Summary:

In which Amara doesn't bring back Mary, she brings back John Winchester.

Dean is uncertain what Amara's meaning is when she brings John back, and struggles with coming to terms with the new family dynamic. Sam tries harder to keep the peace than he used to, and Cas does not get along with John at all- though he tries. Testosterone is at an all-time high as these four men struggle to coexist in the hunting world with very different ideologies.

We explore just how much the brothers have changed in the ten years without their father's guidance, the trauma they still haven't resolved, and the feelings that Dean and Cas hold for one another despite the very real and new barrier that is John.

Commentary: Well written, in character and really long? Ding ding ding, we might have found a new Tomoyo favorite!!

This story is a complete rewrite of season 12, up until the first few episodes of season 13.

Having John back is a twist so good, so tasty, so crunchy. It's so interesting to see Dean and Sam react to him, because while they're not their season 1 selves, neither are them their season 2 selves. We see them little by little regain the courage to stand up for themselves and show John who they've become. John who, of course, is not a bit happy about how friendly Dean and Sam have become of monsters. Or about how close Dean is with Cas.

It's very very interesting how this story deviates from season 12 at the same time it keeps on track with almost everything (but, better). I don't think I paid as much attention to BMOL plot in the show as I did in here! The author also gives us more time with Claire, Alex and Jody, deepening their relationships with the main cast.

Dean starts the story trying to convince himself of how he doesn't have feelings for Cas, but it slowly becomes impossible, as he has to confront old memories. Having John around makes it so much harder for Dean to ignore everything he feels, which makes perfect sense! He is scared at first, specially right after having to see Lucifer possess Cas.

POVs flow mainly between Dean and Cas, but there's also Sam, Eileen, Claire and many others (eventually, Jack).

I know this is a huge one, but I can't recommend it enough. It's big because it need to be. Because we need this time with these characters for them to get where they are. And it's so worth it.

[mahuhumaling]

changes i liked and disliked in the rwrb movie 📨

ohmygod. i'm finally gonna talk about this movie, aren't i? i've held myself off from making original creations like video or photo edits for this piece of media, and i still am, because i feel like if i start making one i won't stop, but i think a textpost can be an exception because i've made tweets and threads about it on twitter already.

anyway, i just wanted to rattle off on these since these opinions have been simmering up on me since the movie first came out. lol i watched it 15 hours later on a whim with bar-in-hell expectations. karma got to me, because i ended up getting brainrot over it.

this is a long overdue post.

the aging up is both a yes and a no for me. a yes because i have previously never been opposed to aging up YA characters (technicaly rwrb is more new adult that young adult but whatever, it's teetering) like shadowhunters, and matthew does a great job of justifying this choice: grounding their romance into a more mature and real love. it's not to say that young love isn't valid or real enough, but the decision to make firstprince in their late 20s makes the discussion of forever and their adamant to fight for their love is more realistic and believable. with that said, it's also a no for me because their ages are also detrimental to the timeline and character arcs. for instance, henry's grief hits him like a ten wheeler as a teenager, and the whole explanation that casey writes for his grief is that he expected to deal with something as magnanimous as that kind of loss when he's older and not when his brain hasn't even fully developed. another instance is alex's having to grapple with his career choices after college!

matthew's best change is quite possibly firstprince exchanging the key and the ring. hands down, much better. i do understand that since the novel is in third person limited (alex's pov), it makes sense at a literary level (lol) for alex to own both the key and the necklace ("two homes side by side" is a BANGER line), but the equal complete devotion that the two have for each other at that point is excellent through that showcase of exchange. i own part of you, you own part of me. it's such a great display for the trope of "token of love." romcoms are back, baby! cinema is back!

worst change, then, is probably alex's parents being still happily married and in love. my hot take is that i understand why june was cut out and she's not a huge loss, compared to alex growing up as a child of divorce. making that change to alex having parents who are still together removes a huge dimension to alex's characterization because a lot of his issues stem from that, mainly his abandonment issues. you can see the full effect in the scene where he storms the kensington palace. i understand and respect it, matthew essentially explaining that because this was a different henry, then this was a different alex to — that he needed to be softer. he was more pleasing, desperate, confused with "can we please talk?" instead of the brash "your royal fucking highness!" because that's what it is: confusion. movie!alex couldn't fully understand why someone would just up and leave like that, whereas book!alex was immediately angry because he knows full well when someone leaves him. (*ahem* his dad) but anyway someone discusses it here in such great detail and i very much agree!

oh another good change is showing henry's pov during the email leak. nicholas... sir... ugh. fine, we're getting you that damn oscar. but seriously, he did great. t'was devastating seeing his face crumble, and the one show/display of roual authority, of hot flash of anger, of power, just to talk to alex was even sadder because that was the only time he uses it.

another yes and no change for me is "history huh." the placement of the most popular line from being im the email to being said out loud privately for the two of them is something i'm divided about. yes: there is a great deal of comfort that comes with henry getting to hear that from alex's own lips. it's very sweet and romantic and yeah tbh tbh i would've melted into a puddle right then and there. that there is a comfort that comes with at least that wasn't taken away from them. but no: the whole point of that being in the email (along with bad metaphors, an incomplete list, the story of the prince born with his heart on the outside of his body, etc.) is that these two's privacy was violated. the whole world read those words that were just meant for the two of them, but the public ended up using that line for their banners and flags and signs. and it's important why? it was then made into a form of reclamation. that even if they went through shit and worried about the consequences of being public figures, that there was hope that at least a surprisingly large number of the general public voiced their support, that they were backed by the people they were serving. removing that from the email in the movie... well, you get the rest.

should the height difference even be talked about? that's a factor that is 80% outside of anyone's control lmao??? but i do think it's worth noting that i've grown kinda fond with it that now i imagine taylor & nick's physical builds when reading firstprince fanfics plus having a taller alex who has a height complex instead of a shorter alex who has a height insecurity is so fucking funny. what a great running gag. the gaslighting of the audience into thinking henry is taller is 10/10. best lampshading ever, actually.

henry standing up for himself to the king is both a yes and no too. yes: matthew's justification is pretty nice. not only does it save them production costs to hire a princess catherine actress and pacing issues, it also makes sense narratively. the movie has written henry as voiceless throughout it really well, so for him to save himself is a great reason for why. but also it's a no for me because it's equally important that catherine the negligent mother starts compensating for her absences by battling generational conflict lmao. there's also the factor of a woman saving a man too! the rwrb universe emphasizes quite well about how henry and alex are surrounded by these powerful female figures who are near and dear to them in their lives. to grow up learning from them. point is, movie!henry standing up for himself is a nice choice because he's older. and at the same time, book!henry being supported by her mother is a great choice because he needed to be affirmed with a larger support system in his younger age.

making henry the one to clarify at first that their relationship should be casual instead of alex is a big yes for me. the mixed signals henry does in the book makes for borderline inconsistent characterization, but he's younger there so it makes sense for us to be confused. but henry in the movie "explaining himself to alex for the past year" is a great cleaning up because at the start, henry has been clear on "ok but we can't do this long term."

this has been sitting on my drafts for too long (weeks) so i'll just post this now. and maybe update it, idk. this post feels too incomplete but i don't want to sit on it, so. whatever here it is. 🤣

edit:. i discovered this amazing podcast who talk about it in great detail and 90% of their opinions i agree with! imm frothing at the mouth with how they describe and reason with each change and i just 🥺 want to share how cool they are. [part 1, part 2]

[shadow-tumbler]

Written in the stars

Chapter 1: Wake up part 1

3rd person pov

A young girl had come across this old looks journal as her curiosity got the better of her and she began reading from it fully unaware of the teen girl that apares out of thin air behind her. The girl groans a little "who are you?" The younger girl says "oh my names Charlotte.....hey you found my journal" Charlotte says and the girl happily returned the journal. Thankfully Charlotte was able to convince of that she had simply been looking in the park for it and the first place she thought of was the garage and she suddenly poofed there "wow that was weird" she says as it clicked in her head what was happening. She hears someone coming and she quickly hides in the attic part "slow down Julie hunny" a vocie says and Charlotte peaks to see that same waitress and a little girl "but mummy I can't help it" Julie says and Charlotte couldn't help but smile. Over the next few years she watched over this family acting like a guardian angel and met another ghost named Willie who helped her a bunch. Unfortunately rose passed away and she shifted her focus to mainly watching over Julie especially since the poor girl lost her passion for music but there was still a small flame within her.

Charlotte's pov

It's was like any other night when i poofed back to the garage as Julie walked in for the first time in a while which is a small step of progress for her. I watched her carefully and was quick to hide as she came up here looking at the old instruments when he eyes landed on a cd, I take a quick peak to see it was a sunset curve cd which brought a smile to my face. She took said cd and popped it into the studio the first song started playing and for the first time in years I hear Luke's vocie again. soon the song is inrrupted by some screaming and in a flash of light I see something that made my eyes tear up with happiness

The boys groaned a little more in pain before slowly pulling themselves up onto their feet and looking around confused.

"Woah. Woah," Luke muttered, straightening out his jacket. "How did we get back here?" Julie let out a scream of terror, the sudden yell making the boys look to her in shock before they all began to scream as well. Reggie and Alex quickly grabbed ahold of Luke who was jumping on his feet in terror as he wrapped his arms around his friends. Julie was running out of the room within seconds, still screaming as she went while the boys all stared after her confused.They all looked around clear confusion on their faces and I quickly ducked out of the way before they saw me, I have no idea why but despite wanting to just run and jump into reggie's arms I couldn't bring myself to move. Cutting my thoughts off, i slowly crept back over to the railing. looking below once again only yo be greeted by an empty room. "But they were just there," i whispered, more confused than ever and disappointed. The sound of footsteps approaching made my breath hitch in my throat and I was quick to hide myself the best i could while also looking down below. My eyes narrowed in confusion as i watched Julie walk into the studio holding a cross in the air and the sight made me relax a bit as a look of amusement flashed over her face. I can't exactly blame her in this situation.

Julie let out a shaky breath as she

looked around, the cross still held out in front of her. "Are you still here?" Julie called out, her words making I began to wondered if the girl knew where I was. "Whatever you are?" I asked didn't move from my spot and just watched as Julie let her arms drop back down to her side. "I know I saw something. I'm not crazy" Julie said in a confused voice. "Well, we're all a little crazy," Luke I felt myself tense instantly, craning my neck in an attempt to see the guys before catching sight of luke, Alex, and Reggie suddenly appearing out of thin air behind Julie. Julie was screaming again and all three boys winced before Alex held up his hand to his ear, "Oh my God! Please stop screaming!" I smiled softly at that, studying her best friend for a moment before looking to Julie who had stopped screaming almost instantly. I took a moment to really take in the fact I am really seeing the guys again as I fiddle with my Charm bracelet that had 3 particular charms representing the guys. I didn't have one for Bobby as I never felt as close to him as the others, "Who are you, and what are you doing in my mom's studio?" Julie questioned.

"Your mom's studio?" Luke asked as he stepped forward, but he had to quickly step out of the way as Julie pointed her cross at him with narrowed eyes. "This is our studio. Trust me" he says. Julie continued to follow him and Luke quickly slid across the piano to get away. "The grand piano is new and. ..and ..and..." His eyes lit up as he threw his arms in the air and laughed excitedly. "My couch!" He lunged onto the couch without another moment of hesitation, sighing happily before looking around. "That is definitely not my six-string" he says in confusion My eyes flickered over to my side where she could see Luke's guitar case sitting beside me, no doubt carrying the instrument he was talking about.

"Can you give me just one second?" Luke asked from below, moving around Julie with his hands up as he attempted to walk back to Alex and Reggie. "Just. . .give me a second, Thank you" The brunette quickly turned back around, sneaking closer to the edge of the railing so she could listen as Luke pulled Reggie and Alex aside. "Guys, what is going on? How did she get her stuff in here so fast?" Luke asked. "Maybe. ..maybe she's a witch. There's chairs floating on the ceiling" Reggie suggested, pointing towards the chairs and I had to smile at that "still the same goof ball" I whispered "Okay, there is no such thing as witches" Alex argued "You sure?" Reggie asked, his voice bringing my back to attention as i looked down at the boy. From above, i had the perfect view of him and my eyes momentarily filled with tears as she realized i really hoped this wasn't a dream. I couldn't go on without Reggie, Alex and luke in my life. "I used to think there was no such thing as ghosts" reg adds on "That's fair" Alex muttered.

"Okay, so we're going with witch," Luke agreed while i rolled her eyes. If i had been down there she would've whacked him in the back of the head, but i didn't want to give the poor Julie another heart by popping up. I remained where i was and silently cheering when Alex hit his arm "No! We are not going with witch!" Alex insisted. "She's not a witch. Okay look, She's just scared Okay, Let someone with a softer touch handle this" He then clapped his hands together before walking towards Julie ulie who was still holding her cross towards the boys with wide eyes. "Why are you in our studio?" Alex asked, his voice extremely loud and slow as if he were trying to make sure Julie could comprehend what he was saying.

Julie tried to punch alex's shoulder with her cross, her eyes widening even more as her hand went clear through him. She quickly pulled her hand away and looked at the cross in shock. "Oh my gosh! How did you do that?" she asked. "Clearly, you're not understanding" Alex sighed before glancing back at his friends. "She.... clearly, she doesn't get it." He looked back to Julie. "Okay, look We're ghosts, all right? We're just three ghosts-" "Four," i muttered softly to myself still hold back my tears "-and we're really happy to be home" Alex told her. "So, thank you for the flowers. They really brighten up the room." He finished "We're actually in a band called Sunset Curve" Luke explained "Tell your friends" Reggie said at the same time i whispered it. The i smiled softly at that, but it faltered as i watched Reggie glance to his side as if he had been expecting me to be there saying it with him like we used to do. "Last night was supposed to be a really

big night for us, It was gonna change our lives" Luke continued.

"I'm, uh. . .I'm pretty sure it did," Alex whispered making me chuckle softly. "You think?" I muttered softly "it changed everything" i also said quitely knowing very well the boys couldn't hear me. The more they talked, the more i began to believe that this was actually happening. But if it was, that begged the question how this was happening. "This is freaking me out" Julie announced as she reached for her pocket and pulled out her phone and it seemed the boys were curious as to what exactly it was "What is that?" Luke asked "What are you doing?" Julie glares slightly "It's my phone," Julie explained while typing "No! Stop talking to them They aren't real, There's no such thing as cute ghosts" Julie told herself, Reggie gave the young girl a teasing smile, "Oh, think we're cute?" Julie gave him a look in response before glancing back to her phone.

"Who are you calling?" Alex asked.

"I'm Googling Sunset Swerve," Julie

told them. "Sunset Curve" the boys and me all groaned, although I made sure I was quieter Julie just stared at them before looking to her phone and frowning. "Whoa, There is a Sunset Curve. You did die, but not last night," she said, her words making Stephanie still. "Twenty-five years ago?" The brunette stumbled back at that, a hand going up to her hair and brushing through it in frustration as she whispered, "T-Twenty-five years?" "What?" Reggie asked. "No. No, no,no. Th-Th-That's impossible. After we floated out of the ambulance, all we did was go to that weird, dark room where Alex cried." I sat up at the fact Luke, Reggie and Alex had all been together in the dark room while I had been all by myself till i was brought back. Why couldn't i have been with them? Then maybe i wouldn't have felt so alone. "Well..." Alex said in a high-pitched voice. "I don't think...I think we were all pretty upset, Okay?" He says looking at the other boys "But that was just for like an hour" Luke insisted while I just shook my head. They left to get street dogs two hours before the show and had died well over an hour before the show started. That meant time had to pass by differently in the dark room which made sense as to why it had felt so short "We just showed up here" luke adds on clearly confused "Look. I'm just telling you what my phone says," Julie told them, holding out her phone for the boys to see "See? You died in 1995, When you were seventeen, It's now 2020"

Okay even I didn't realise how long to had really been since that night The boys all leaned forward to look

their eyes flickering over the article about their food poisoning death. However, what really got their attention was a little further down "what second char died a year later?" Reggie said softly and I could hear the Heartbreak in his voice. He then clears his throat trying to cover it up but I could see right though that acted"So, this is the future?" Reggie questioned. "Wait. So. . .so it had been twenty-five years, I have been crying for twenty-five years? How is that possible?" Alex asked, his voice raising in the process "Well, you're a very emotional person" Reggie said. "I am not!" Alex argued "Thought you were afraid to come out here" a new voice said as Carlos Molina, Julie's younger brother. walked into the studio. "You talking to your ghost friend? How does he look? Is he hideous?" "He can see you," Alex said as he looked to Reggie who gave the boy a hurt look ""No, he can't," Julie said, her words making Carlos furrow his eyebrows and look around confused "What?" Carlos questioned "Uh...what do you want?" Julie asked "A normal sister, for starters" Carlos began making I chuckle and thought back to me and guys when they were younger "Stop being weird and come eat'' It seemed Luke must've been thinking the same thing because he was looking at Carlos with an almost saddened look on his face. Carlos walked out of the studio and Julie looked to the boys confused "He couldn't see you," she stated. The girl made her way towards the doors before looking back. "Look I'm very sorry for what happened to you guys, but this isn't your studio anymore, You have to leave" Julie told them "But wait" Luke said "We.. . We didn't get your name" "It's Julie," she told them. "Cool," Luke said with a small chuckle "I-I'm Luke by, by they way. . .and this is-" he hesitated as he turned to his side, obviously expecting someone else to be there. The look on his face told the boys all they need to know and Reggie was quick to step in."Reggie, I'm Reggie," he said with a smile and a small wave. "Hey" "Alex, How's it going?" Alex greeted, a small smile on his face as well.

Julie just stared at them while Luke gestured towards the guys and whispered "Ba-da." Julie was quiet before shrugging and giving them a look, "Okay?" She then turned on her heels and walked away without another word while the boys watched after her "Julie seems nice" Reggie finally said making me smile softly while Luke and Alex looked to him in disbelief "Did you miss the part where she kicked us out, or. . .?" Alex questioned while Reggie just stared at him. "Yea, okay" The three boys went separate ways at that and i slowly backed away from the railing, letting out a shaky breath as i ran a hand through my hair and tried to process everything that i had just learned and combine it with what i already knew. However I mosty thought of Reggie the way his hair would blow slightly in the wind as we raced one another down the street on our bikes, his laughter that had always seemed to be able to brighten my day, his smile that made me feel lighter than air. I thought of singing with eachother and how our voice seemed to sound perfect together And as i watched the boys i couldn't help but think of my own regrets and what she had left behind. Her parents who she had walked out on when they tried to force a relationship on me. Bobby who had been struggling with the news of the boys deaths only to hear that the only friend he had left had died a year later. My dream of playing at the Orpheum had been crushed as well. But now I had to hide herself from the three people who meant the most to her in the world. "I'm sorry" Stephanie whispered glancing between the three guys with a sad smile as all four members of Sunset Curve sat with a pained look upon their face "Soon, I promise"

[scaly-freaks]

• Bite the hand - boygenius

• Death of a party girl - TV girl

• Things to do - Alex g

• The water is fine -

• Would that I - hozier

(Aegons pov?)

• American pie -

• Never let me go -

'Though the pressure's hard to take

It's the only way I can escape

It seems a heavy choice to make

But now I am under, oh'

'And it's over and I'm going under

But I'm not giving up, I'm just giving in

I'm slipping underneath

So, so cold and so sweet'

• Cupid - jack stauber

• Not a lot just forever - Adrienne Lenker

(The whole song mainly pertaining to the like understanding they have of eachother that in one way or another ties them to eachother also

'And your dearest fantasy

Is to grow a baby in me

I could be a good mother

And I wanna be your wife

So I hold you to my knife

And I steal your letter'

Pertaining to the whole situation with him wanting to have Jaehaera and all that

'So I bash around the house

And the poison stains my mouth'

This mainly reminds me of her like after Jaehaera was legitimized with the burning of the dress and all that

'She comes, I let her

And we share a paradise'

Kinda makes me think of Alys and amara not sure if it makes sense tho?)

• I want you - mitski

(Makes me think of Aegons thoughts on amara but I might be losing it honestly)

• First love/late spring - mitski

(Reminds me of amara, specifically

'Wild women don't get the blues

But I find that

Lately I've been crying like a

Tall child

So please hurry leave me

I can't breathe

Please don't say you love me

胸がはち切れそうで

One word from you and I would

Jump off of this

Ledge I'm on

Baby

Tell me "don't"

So I can

Crawl back in')

• Waiting room - phoebe bridgers

(Honestly feel like this 1 explains itself but my fav lyric that I think also perfectly ties to them is

'But you're breathing in my open mouth

You're the gun in my lips that will blow my brains out')

• Moon song - phoebe bridgers

• Work song - hozier

(Another one I think of aegons pov)

• Touch tank - quinnie

• I bet on losing dogs - mitski

• Nobody - mitski

(Her in the tower? (I can't remember if it's a tower or not?))

Honorable mentions:

Half return - Adrienne Lenker

(not aegon and amara but it reminds me of Jaehaera in until the colors fade based on vibes only)

Sandy - Alex g

(Also Jaehaera in until the colors fade)

Pretty boy - tv girl

(Modern Aegon)

I love you like an alcoholic - the taxpayers

No children - the mountain goats

(General vibes of their dynamic)

Scott Street - phoebe bridgers

(Makes me think of them in ysmmc)

Liquid smooth - mitski

(Ysmmc amara)

Idk if any of these make sense, but it's what I could get done on my train

These DO make sense!! Aahhhh thank you so much. The lyrics you pointed out really do fit them super well (and I will take my time going through the other song titles when I can <3)

[invisibleraven]

Fuck it I'm asking for the same prompt twice bc it's my fave

9 outsider pov rulie, bonus but not required if it's Luke's pov??

Luke Patterson would be the first to admit that he didn't get romance.

Love? Love he gets. He loves his family, even while he and his mom don't always see eye to eye. He loves his friends who have been there through everything. He loves music and his guitars.

But romance? That he doesn't understand.

Of course, once he figures out he's aromantic that makes way more sense, and while he still doesn't get romance, he's better about picking up on it.

Like the fact that his best friends are crazy gaga over each other. To the point that Luke isn't sure how they can't see when his aro ass can.

There's the little things, like the soft touches, but they're all a pretty touchy bunch-well Alex mostly with Willie, and occasionally Julie, but still. Julie touches Reggie every chance she gets; just a fleeting skim of her hand over his back, or a reassuring pat to the shoulder. Reggie is a bit more touchy, with hugs and playing with Julie's fingers, but still-it's kinda excessive even for them.

Then there's the longing looks when the other can't see. It's the definition of oblivious pining and it kind of makes Luke want to rip his hair out.

But he doesn't. Nor does he shove them together and loudly yell that they like one another. Mainly because Alex says they have to figure it out themselves. But also because Luke is fairly certain he wants lots of ammo to tease Reggie with when they finally do get together.

So Luke sits back and endures the flirty looks Reggie sends at Julie, and notices how he's stopped flirting with other people at their shows, which means it's pretty dang serious. Hears Julie laugh at Reggie's corny jokes, which are terrible, and thus, must mean Julie's in love.

Then Reggie hands him his notebook; a worried, nervous look on his face as he asks Luke to look over a song for him. "It's not country is it?"

Reggie scowls, shakes his head, then stops, holding his fingers a mere inch apart. Luke sighs, shakes his head, but looks over the song anyways-he's a good bro. Plus it's not like Reggie is asking them to play it, just to have a second set of eyes.

All that glitters may be gold/But you are more precious to behold/My little darlin'/ Come watch the sun set with me We'll count the stars are they shine/Wile away, not waste our time/Together We could leave this town/Or just stay here/Either way/ I'm happy when you're near/To me So say you'll be mine/For now or until the end of time/Say that I'm yours/And we'll stay the course Hand in hand/Smile to smile/I just want to be with you a while/Or forever/Say you want together/And it's yours

"So?" Reggie asked, his fingers fumbling a mile a minute, bottom lip bitten raw.

Luke handed back the song and smiled. "She'll love it Reg. Just... go sing it for her. Right now. Don't waste time thinking about it."

Reggie nodded and took off for the house, then doubled back and grabbed his acoustic with a sheepish smile. "Wish me luck!"

"Luck!" Luke replied cheekily, ignoring how Reggie flipped him off. He was sure Reggie wouldn't need it.

And sure enough, when it was time for band practice, he was right if Reggie's swollen mouth and Julie's smeared lipstick was anything to go by.

And when Julie enthused about Reggie's song, well Luke groaned a little, but once they gave it a punk twist? It actually sounded pretty good-especially given the love sick looks that Reggie and Julie sent each other as they sang it.

Yeah, Luke didn't get romance, but his friends being happy together? That he got 100%.

[firstprince-ao3feed]

took our broken hearts left them in a drawer

took our broken hearts, left them in a drawer https://ift.tt/nwQFYEX by sheWritesToLiveVicariously “a whole crystalized life flashes into view, a next term and no elections left to win, a schedule packed with classes and Henry smiling from the pillow next to him in the gray light of a Brooklyn morning. It drops right into the well of his chest and spreads, like how hope spreads.” - page 414, Red White & Royal Blue, Casey McQuiston -- This is Part 2: we all have flaws, we all make mistakes, we just have to know how to work with them, not around them. Words: 2906, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Series: Part 2 of Welcome To New York (Henry and Alex's Version) Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, June Claremont-Diaz/Nora Holleran, mentioned Additional Tags: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fights, Alex gets flashbacks to his parents, very messy, Alex Claremont-Diaz Needs a Hug, And therapy but we can deal with that one later, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Loves Alex Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz Loves Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, POV Alternating, POV Alex Claremont-Diaz, mainly, Based severely off of songs (mainly TS), Song: Say Don't Go (Taylor Swift), Song: Comfort (Nicholas Galitzine), yes nicholas has a song out it shocked my friend lmao, Song: making the bed (Olivia Rodrigo), Can you tell this will be sad, Happy Ending, its ok via AO3 works tagged 'Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor' https://ift.tt/fOlirkB January 25, 2024 at 09:14AM

[roleplayfinder]

hello!! i'm astro, i'm recently getting back into the rp scene and i'm looking to find some one on one rp partners! a little about me is i'm 26, engaged and a fulltime caretaker for an elderly family member! i use it/its pronouns but if you struggle with neos, he/him is also okay.

i'm mainly looking for oc roleplays, but i'm totally open to fandom cc x cc roleplays as well!!! i'll list the fandoms i'm interested in below!

as for oc, i love building characters with my partners and almost making things up as we go. i love the creativity that comes with constant collaboration. genre wise, i would prefer romance aspects, though it doesn't have to be the focus of the rp! just something to add to the story! i also love creating side characters, whether they're reoccurring or one off characters! i am not an nsfw roleplayer, so if that's what you're looking for, i'm afraid i am not the one for you! i'm super into fantasy, supernatural, thriller/horror settings, darker themes, slice of life and fandom worlds when it comes to ocs!

as for fandoms, i'll list fandoms and ships as well as which characters i prefer playing!!! the characters i prefer writing as will be bold and italicised!

jujutsu kaisen:

megumi x yuuji (i will absolutely not accept megumi with sukuna, gojo, nanami or any other adult in this series. proshippers are not safe to interact with me.)

yuuta x inumaki

getou x gojo

genshin impact:

scaramouche x childe

xiao x aether

scaramouche x kazuha

kaveh x alhaitham

honkai: star rail:

caelus x dan heng/dan heng il

hades (video game):

zagreus x thanatos

red, white & royal blue (i prefer the book's storyline and characterisation):

henry x alex

there are various other medias i'm super intersted in that don't have big fandoms so if you ever wanna explore, let me know!! as for partner requirements, i'm not comfortable with anyone under the age of 19 simply because of the age gap. i am literate to novella third person pov and would appreciate someone who is similar!! i can usually reply once or twice a day depending, but if i'm super into it, i can reply three or four!!! i am most comfortable roleplaying on discord as i love making servers with my rp partners! f you're interested, interact with this or message me and i'll get back to you as soon as i can!!!

again, i am not an nsfw roleplayer and proshippers are not safe to interact or reach out.

.

[tintagel-or-cockleshells]

7, 16, and 20 for the meta writer asks!

First off, please know my initial response to this was HNRGH. I love meta-talk, baybee.

7. What do you think are the characteristics of your personal writing style? Would others agree?

I use a lot of lists in my writing, particularly when characters are thinking things through. This is because I personally do this while thinking. Josefin helped point this out to me - we were editing a chapter I'd written for our project and she pointed out there were three lists in eight pages. Whoops.

I also think a hallmark of mine is writing around the point. I need to go from A to B, I'm reminded of C as I write A so it goes A - long digression to C - back to B.

Recently I've also caught myself finishing a story with enforced outsider perspectives - articles about the final event, blurbs of a book written after they get back together - so I want to stick to in-the-moment storytelling for my next one.

16. Tried anything new with your writing lately? (style, POV, genre, fandom?)

I'm trying to write longer form. Typically my fics are like 5 pages a chapter, longer if it's a oneshot, but my latest one is hovering at 50 pages and we've just started chapter 4 (potentially - i want to chop it up after the writing to see how it fits best).

I've also gone a little more serious with it! Comedy is fun to write, but I've not felt up to writing a caper in a little while (wedding planning as we hurtle towards the last few months of prep is STEPPING UP) so it's kind of a relief to write this story and go 'y'know, gold vs clear plinths for aisle florals is not as big of a deal as (plot of story)'.

(I really hate the clear plinths. Not the vibe.)

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

In Ghosted one of the things I was really proud of was how Alex went through his own personal five stages. If the classic ones are denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance, he first denied it was even possible for him to come back; got furious (mainly wirh Zahra) when he thought she'd lied, bargained with Henry's prone body, got depressed about it, and then accepted both seeing his family and that he was definitely going to become alive again.

I've always been morbid and really fascinated by death so please expect more gloomy goodness.

In Red, White and Royal Ballet I had lots of fun with the ballet references. Alex's fear of the character parts, which get pulled out of a hat but you're not there for their feats of dancing - look at the clog dance from La Fille mal gardée and you'll see technical skill but none of the showstopping jumps he wants to do as the leading men.

Ballet is also a very -ist institution. Alex doesn't 'look the part' of the prince. You know who 100% does? Henry, and there's symbolism in how he rejected a place with his grandmother after seeing how it hurt Bea - an abdication of sorts.

There's also the fact that Alex performs quite a lot in tragic ballets before Henry comes along! Giselle, La Bayadère, Mayerling are all cryfests with a lot of death. It's why it's important there's no deaths at the end!

Thank you for the asks very much, I had a lovely time answering :)

[purposefully-lost]

Me in my car to myself: no no no listen publish Jack Rabbit and then we follow it up with Prey Animal, Alex's memoir, because the reader experiences the story and THEN they get to read and pick apart everything Alex lies about, and everything he's hiding or misremembering- and if Jack Rabbit was mainly from Rabbit's POV, we're also seeing events that they mightve interpreted differently, and ALSO if Jack Rabbit is from Rabbit's POV, then the audience is also equally in the dark as to how much and how often Alex thinks that he loves him, and--

[scholar-of-yemdresh]

Get To Know Me

Call me Odunayo/Ayo or if you're feeling pretentious The Scholar. I won't always remember to update my age so I'll just say i was Born in 1999. If you couldn't guess by my name I am West African aka BLACK.

I'm Asexual I don't use the SAM so by asexual I mean no sexual & romantic attraction.

My blog is mostly talking about books, Podcasts/audio dramas, queer issues & representation, occasional salty posting and miscellaneous interests.

My blog is pretty sfw I do talk occasionally about mature topics but nothing too graphic. So while minors can interact I will prioritise interaction with other adults.

Some of My greatest hits:

My Ongoing list of Adult transmascs & NBs in adult oriented science fiction and fantasy

My Dirty Bag Aces post, bc we need more Morally dubious asexuals idc if it's "bad rep" lol

My Psy-op to get Silt Verses fans to read my faves

I'm passionate about diverse interesting and unique adult Science fiction and Fantasy. By diverse I mainly mean poc and/or queer but tbh if I had to choose between a well written interesting sff book that was majority white and (implied)cishet and a tropey bland ya-lite queer/poc book?...I'm choosing the white guy 😂

My fave (sub)genres include;

Secondary World Ubran Fantasy: basically Fantasy worlds with modern technology eg The Craft Sequence and Green Bone Saga

Cosmic Horror/Lovecraftian minus the extreme racism of course lol; I can tolerate a smidgen of racism just a sprinkle though 🤭

Villainous Asexuals: others cry bad rep I say give me more dirt bag aces, my fave of faves is Ymir by Rich Larson

Funky Standalone books

In addition to dirt bag aces give me dirty bag transmascs and NBs. Weirdly I've found a niche of authors who consistently write women that are real evil n1ggas but the same energy isn't put into TMs &NBs 😔

Expect to see the occasional propaganda/subliminal hypnosis beams for the following;

The Black Iron Legacy by Gareth Hanrahan, Twenty Palaces by Harry Connolly, Craft Sequence, Ymir by Rich Larson, Master of Poisons by Andrea Hairston, The Crimson Empire by Alex Marshall, The Divine Cities by Robert Jackson Bennett,The Graven by Essa Hansen, Starmetal Symphony by Alex White, The Protectorate by Megan E O'keefe, The Winnowing Flame by Jen Williams etc

My tastes are wide and technically very strict; I'm only interested in Adult stories with adult casts ● I like a dark/grimdark(not nihilistic) tone but I'm uncomfortable with sex crimes(rape, incest, pedo shit, necro etc) nuh uh can't deal with it at all and depending on how graphic or if a major POV character is involved with that shit will straight up skip a book so most dark fantsy is off the table ● I'm chill with gore & body horror but I despise torture porn/extreme horror/splatterpunk yall need Jesus 😂 that terrifier art the clown type shit I can't deal! I'm an Edgelord but not that 2edgy4u ● I don't care much for mantasy (the faux medieval euro crap with angsty cis white sword dudes bleh now make the grizzled sword dude transmasc and now we're cooking with GAS) ● the asexual™ in me acts up too much so romance and sex makes me roll my eyes & skip ● I do have a recency bias I'm hesitant to touch books made pre-2010s on account of the racism,sexism,homophobia and weird creepy consent issues or staright up pedophilia yikes ● Also I don't like things that are two long, as I said I'm a slow reader so investing too much time in really long sprawling epic is err not for me.

Also as a (queer) Christian anti-theists dni, normal atheists are fine just don't be an asshole who calls religious people mentally ill or other edgelord shit.

[roleplay-today]

hello!! i'm astro, i'm recently getting back into the rp scene and i'm looking to find some one on one rp partners! a little about me is i'm 26, engaged and a fulltime caretaker for an elderly family member! i use it/its pronouns but if you struggle with neos, he/him is also okay.

i'm mainly looking for oc roleplays, but i'm totally open to fandom cc x cc roleplays as well!!! i'll list the fandoms i'm interested in below!

as for oc, i love building characters with my partners and almost making things up as we go. i love the creativity that comes with constant collaboration. genre wise, i would prefer romance aspects, though it doesn't have to be the focus of the rp! just something to add to the story! i also love creating side characters, whether they're reoccurring or one off characters! i am not an nsfw roleplayer, so if that's what you're looking for, i'm afraid i am not the one for you! i'm super into fantasy, supernatural, thriller/horror settings, darker themes, slice of life and fandom worlds when it comes to ocs!

as for fandoms, i'll list fandoms and ships as well as which characters i prefer playing!!! the characters i prefer writing as will be bold and italicised!

jujutsu kaisen:

megumi x yuuji (i will absolutely not accept megumi with sukuna, gojo, nanami or any other adult in this series. proshippers are not safe to interact with me.)

yuuta x inumaki

getou x gojo

genshin impact:

scaramouche x childe

xiao x aether

scaramouche x kazuha

kaveh x alhaitham

honkai: star rail:

caelus x dan heng/dan heng il

hades (video game):

zagreus x thanatos

red, white & royal blue (i prefer the book's storyline and characterisation):

henry x alex

there are various other medias i'm super intersted in that don't have big fandoms so if you ever wanna explore, let me know!! as for partner requirements, i'm not comfortable with anyone under the age of 19 simply because of the age gap. i am literate to novella third person pov and would appreciate someone who is similar!! i can usually reply once or twice a day depending, but if i'm super into it, i can reply three or four!!! i am most comfortable roleplaying on discord as i love making servers with my rp partners! f you're interested, interact with this or message me and i'll get back to you as soon as i can!!!

again, i am not an nsfw roleplayer and proshippers are not safe to interact or reach out.

[talesfromthemidnightride]

Alex in Deutschland by Roger Neumaier

★★☆☆☆

Synopsis: Alex Schwarz, a second-generation Holocaust survivor, is given the unique ability to see past events after taking LSD. The first arc of the story delves into uncovering his newfound gift along with the help of his Russian immigrant girlfriend, Lucy. The two decide to embark on a European vacation and chase the biggest demon that had impacted his family & youth — Adolf Hitler.

Quick Takeaway:

There are lots of broken or fragmented sentences and grammatical mistakes.

Dialogue does not feel natural, and is often used to simply "push" the story along narratively.

The story falls very heavily on "tell, not show".

Offers interesting insight into German and Jewish culture.

Not all foreign words, concepts, or phrases will be translated for the reader's sake. But those that are, are translated well.

Characters are constantly going back and forth on what they want to do and think about situations.

For a book delving into Adolf Hitler and his impact on survivors and their children, it frequently misspells his name as Adolph.

Death is added, not to further the story, but to add shock to the reader and character.

In-depth spoiler review under the cut!

My first impression of the book was how it delved right into the story with no build-up, which was rather jarring. This is not to say that a story must build up before tossing us into the meat of the story. In this instance, it felt as if we were already in the middle of a scene and being treated as such. Add in the grammar mistakes already littering the first few pages of the book, and it became a whiplash of a first chapter.

One of the main characters in the novel is a Russian immigrant woman named Lucy. Unlike other non-English native-speaking characters, Lucy who has been in America for most of her life and gone through college can only speak English in a very fragmented sense. Take for instance the following sentence:

"Alex, we just begin learn about dream-visions at Chelsea Hotel. Now we need learn more."

All of her dialogue is on par with this snippet. Which makes little sense knowing her background and how long she has been in America on her own. Especially when compared to random travelers they encounter whose English is far better than hers.

I noticed that characters often go on very long monologues to push or drive a scene. Many of these are supposed to carry or hold a lot of emotional weight, but you won't get the full impact as it ends up being mostly dialogue with a little bit of narrative. But the narrative leans very heavily into "Then, then, then." Then they took a deep breath. Then they paused. Then they wept.

But, on the flip side, small events are overly written out, such as the sentence below:

Lucy stopped in front of room 205, put a key in the lock, turned it, and opened the door.

While I won't call them mistakes, they do all add up and make the story very draining to read. It does not allow the mind to imagine a scene as the build-up is non-existent or scenes are very dialogue-heavy. Any instance of emotion for readers is left from a "tell, not show" perspective, which means the most we receive is "Lucy did not seem to enjoy any of his comments."

Characters also tend to go back and forth on their thoughts and ideas. One minute Alex doesn't want to go through with experimenting on his new abilities, then the next minute he does. One day Lucy doesn't want to experiment any further, but then she does. I feel as if a good chunk of the story could have been reduced if the characters weren't constantly changing their mind about things. It expanded far more than just testing Alex's boundaries, which grew to be rather annoying the more the story progressed.

Although, I have learned a few things about Jewish and German American culture from this book. Mainly due to the POV character monologuing quite a bit and over-explaining things out. Such as when Alex was telling Lucy about his family's religious background and the religious holidays they celebrate. Mainly of Yom Kippur and how it is one of the most important holidays for those of the Jewish faith.

I had a long debate on rather I should go with one or two stars on this story but ultimately went with 2 stars as this feels like a deeply personal story that Roger had to tell. I also noted that as the story progressed, his writing did improve gradually. Had he taken more time to hone his writing skill, I think this would have been an excellent story as it was an interesting read.

If you would like to also read this story, please consider any of the following links: Barnes Noble link. Indie Bound link. Bookshop link.

While reading this story, I recommend chamomile tea, as it can help with aiding sleep, and perhaps bring you to your own (legal) dream-vision such as the ones Alex experienced! This is one of my favorite chamomile teas.

I also prepared a soft German rock playlist for you to listen to as you learn more about Alex's family and heritage.

[malex-overlord-believe]

Fully Aware

Iz accidentally did something and Alex thinks they need to talk about it.

-part 2 of A Peek Inside-

They watch the truck drive away until it's out of site. There's only one thing Alex feels like saying.

“That was odd.”

He watches as Michael sighs with his hands on his hips and tips his head towards the sky.

“Things are always odd now Alex.”

Alex rolls his eyes at that, preoccupied with Isobel's panicked words still running through his head.

He knows right? He- you can't feel like that and not-

Alex has an idea of what she was talking about, the idea like a leaky drip from a sink but instead of a tap it's talk, talk, talk.

“Well things have always been odd for me Guerin now are you going to come inside or continue being a drama queen."

Michael twirls around with a hand against his chest in mock hurt. “But darling it's my god given bisexual right to be dramatic!”

Alex doesn't hide his smile as Michael starts walking over.

“How long have you been waiting to use that one?”

A happy flutter in his chest comes alive at the grin Michael is sporting.

“I actually only found that one last week. Tumblr is weird but cool.”

“I still have no proof you actually have one of those."

They're both settled back on the couch, a few inches of space between them that they try to ignore.

“I get my tumblr. You get you classified missions. Now we were going over the layout of the old prison you and Valenti want to sneak into.”

Alex stares at the blueprints and lists they've made but can't really focus on them. He keeps looking at Michael and there's a buzzing under his skin, one he usually only feels when Michael is actually touching him. He has no idea what Isobel did but it's like something's been fully opened in him and everything; his feelings, thoughts, and reactions towards Michael have been bumped up to the max.

Before it was a trickle, but now it's like the floodgates have been opened and the water has raised up to his waits before he knows it.

He doesn't think what happened was intentional, but he's thankful for it because it's like he was given that small extra push to just do instead of overthinking.

“Actually I want to talk. About what happened.”

Michael turns his full attention on him and they both blink at each other.

“You feel it too.” Alex reaches a hand out but Michael shys away, widening the space between them until he's squished against the arm of the small couch.

“Dammit Isobel.” He curses and quickly stands to move and put the table between them.

“She said she wouldn't-”

“I don't think she did it intentionally. I think- it just feels like how I've always felt about you but… now it's like I'm fully aware of it.”

Alex stands from the couch and takes a step around the table, Michael countering it with a step of his own.

“Isobel wanted to know if I could be trusted.” He takes a step to get closer and Michael takes one to keep the space between them. “And what she saw or learned made her believe I could.”

Another sidestep.

“I know why I can be trusted especially after she started asking me those things.”

Another step.

“Do you want to know how I know Guerin?”

Michael has circled back so he's standing between the couch and the table with Alex across from him, right where Alex wanted him. Alex quickly steps onto the table and over, causing Michaels confused brain to fall back onto the couch as Alex stands before him, trapping him.

“You.”

“Me?” He squeaks.

Alex nods and leaves the small space between them.

“How I feel about you.”

“Alex I think we should-” Michaels starting to sweat and he looks overwhelmed.

“It's gotten more intense, hasn't it?”

Alex can see Michael trying to breathe and calm down but he nods. Alex shuffles a little closer, his legs nearly cnb Michaels and things start to float.

“We said we'd talk Guerin and so far we've barely done that.” His voice is steady as he stares Michael down, waiting.

Swallowing, Michael starts to regain a bit of his usual composure and meets Alex's gaze.

“If I touch you… we're not going to be friends Alex.”

A laugh bursts from Alex and, with a quick thought for his leg, drops down onto Michael's lap and bracket him in with both his arms and knees.

Does Michael really think- Alex pauses as he reads the new look on Michael's face.

There's concern and heat and… fear.

“Hey what's-” Alex brings one hand to cup against Michael's cheek but instead of this reaction they're having becoming even stronger, that both believe skin on skin contact will do, that intensity calms back down to what it was before.

Michael lets out a shaky breath and his eyes close as he sags into the couch, his hands come to rest feather light on Alex's waist, everything that started to float falling back down. Neither of them really take notice, only that the other is so close.

“You okay?” Alex asks. He can still feel this thing between them, it's kind of crazy how much he can't not think about it. Feel it. Want it. Need it.

Michael doesn't answer him after a very long minute, making Alex a little worried.

He can feel Michael breathing, his heart beating where his hand is pressed against Michael's face, the almost too subtle movement of the hands on his waist slightly shaking. Alex brings his other hand to Michael's face so that he's holding it in both hands.

“Michael.” He whispers. The hands on his waist tighten and Michael's eyes scrunch up tighter.

“Don't-” he chokes out then takes a breath. “Say my name. Like that.”

Alex tilts the man's head up. “Stop being stupid then.”

“I'm being responsible.”

“Nah you're being dumb.”

Michael finally looks at him and that fears still there but now there's hope and frustration.

“Alex you said-” a thumb smooths over his cheek and stops at Michael's lips to quiet him.

“I said I wanted to be friends yes but that was just so I could get to know you again, actual real things since now neither of us have your alien secret stopping us or my monster of a dad messing with my head. He's gone and his little spy turned on him. I know you can move stuff with your mind and hatched from a pod.” Alex shrugs. “I never said no to being more than friends, if anything I don't think we could ever just be friends. Isobel's visit pretty much confirmed that.”

The stubborn furrow on Michael's face starts to soften letting Alex know the man under him is actually listening to what he's saying.

“I'm done being terrified of messing this up and not trying. Now it's my turn to reach out to you.”

Their foreheads are pressed together, Alex's voice softening near the end as he finishes what he wants to say.

They stay like that for a while, Alex giving Michael the time he needs to say whatever he needs, knowing how hard it is to open up especially after all the times he's been burned by Alex for voicing what he wants in the past.

“I'm terrified of messing up.” Michael finally says. “That this is our last chance and I'm going to do something that'll make you leave again. It would break me and I wouldn't want to stay here so I'll finally have a reason to use my ship and go back to the stars, leave everyone behind because they'd just be reminders no matter how much they'd try to help me through it.”

Michael is looking at Alex with everything, all the emotions swimming in Michael's eyes.

He told Alex when he finally finished reconstructing the console. It was a almost 2 weeks after Alex swallowed his fear and gave Michael the remaining piece he needed. That was one of the few times they talked, that Alex told him he didn't want Michael to leave but that he wouldn't stop Michael if he wanted to or needed to in a worse case scenario.

Michael said he wasn't going to leave yet because he still had things keeping him here, the look in his eyes a heavy weight on Alex and the meaning clear.

Alex pulls back just enough so he can look into Michael's eyes.

“I know it's going to take time for both of us to heal and break down all these fucked up habits we've made, but I know I'm ready to do the work if you are Michael. You don't need to be, you can take all the time you need and I'll be here waiting.”

There are tears in Michael's eyes but he's smiling and there's so much hope and love in the look he's giving Alex, he can feel his eyes start to water.

“Don't make me cry cowboy.” Alex says with a weak laugh.

“Fuck you who wouldn't after a speech like that.” Michaels arms fully wrap around his waist and pulls Alex in closer.

“We need to talk to Iz about what happened. See if she can do it again.”

Michael gives him a look. “You actually want that? It was really intense.”

It might be too much is what he's trying to say but Alex just rolls his eyes at that. “It's how I always felt whenever we touched.” his hands stroke along Michael's jaw proving his point.

“And since I'm being all honest and mushy, might as well say one more thing.” Alex's hands get a firm hold of Michaels face. “I want to kiss you. Will you let me?”

“Always.”

They're smiling as Alex leans back down and Michael hands move to his hips. Alex leaves an inch between their mouths, letting out a content sigh as their noses gently bump together before pressing a soft kiss to Michael's mouth.

“Does this mean we can go on dates now?”

Alex just gives him a look.

“Guerin we've practically been dating but I'd like more dates with you. When we can get one because if you recall the last few times we did something with just us, there was an emergency meeting or issue halfway through.”

Grinning Michael just pulls Alex closer to press his face into Alex's neck.

“I think we'll be given more time now. This is good."

Alex's hand combs through Michael's wild curls and fully relaxes into him.

“Ya it is.”

They spend the remaining few hours just like that, shifting positions of course when Alex's leg starts to ache and Michael's legs going numb, holding each other and soaking in this small moment of simple calm and peace.

---

As a lawyer Noah is able to read people pretty well. You kinda need to because you're dealing with people who are trying to either prove their not guilty or make sure they are. He thinks its why he and Isobel work so well, the big Alien secret aside.

Now he was all for scheming and going along with what his wife thought would help bring their brother and Alex Manes closer together to actually be together. She didn't tell him anything but Noah's seen how the two men interact. He's not blind.

He's seen them ‘hang out’ way more, look generally more happy, gotten to a good place. Him and Iz have helped find ways to give the two more time as well as time for themselves. Noah is still unsure about Cameron and the only reason Valenti is alright is because he's a doctor. If anyone was to be the most worrying person to be in the know, you'd think it would be Alex Manes: Military, has a family history of going after Aliens, whose own father is still trying to do it.

The thing is if anything, Noah knows it would be Alex Manes who would tear down the world just to make sure Michael Guerin was safe.

Noah loves Isobel, she's his person, but they don't have what Alex and Michael do, this insane connection that's apparently lasted ten years of time and distance yet still so strong.

Then there was the thing at Alex's cabin which was two weeks ago. Isobel had that look of relief and gratitude most of his clients give him when they've won their case and that his clients give to the person who stuck with them during really intense and insane cases.

So now that he's standing here in this current situation, he's a bit unsure what to do because there was a plan but now said plan is long gone, like most of the clothes on Michael and Alex. Noah's happy for them, truly and glad they're reconnecting on a physical level… but he would prefer not to see or hear any of it.

“So I'm gonna- ya sorry guys I'll just be not here.” Noah turns around to leave quickly.

Michael is still his brother though.

“Use protection!” He yells over his shoulder with a grin as he makes it to his car.

Well now this makes his job so much easier.

Seeing as he has the afternoon free, Noah decides to work on some cases he could get ahead on. It's a few hours after he gets a text from Michael.

Cowboy Guerin: Please don't tell Iz yet. We still need to talk to her about what happened when she did her thing.

Noah thinks about it before replying.

Noah B: If she asks i'm telling her but until then I won't. Glad you guys are good?

Cowboy Guerin: Thanks man. I'm glad too.

Noah gets back to work with a smile.

[silverhallow]

Okay so I’m back with another character analysis discussion ramble - Sophie + PTSD. I’ve seen a lot of us Bridgerton fans talk about Anthony’s… mental state & Kate’s insecurities. I also know that you like to explore Benedict’s confidence issues & have touched on Sophie’s PTSD before 🤔 Though, most of what I’ve seen (on Tumblr + generally on AO3) has been AUs/fix-it scenarios where Araminta gets the treatment she deserves & goes to jail.

No criticism to JQ, but I would’ve loved to see more of Sophie’s POV & working through her trauma. How does she deal with those inner voices, triggers & insecurities? 😯 As much as I hate to think about it, did Sophie have a nervous breakdown & how did Benedict manage to not throw hands the first time they met Araminta or Rosamund at a ball or social gathering? How does flashbacks & nightmares affect her, are they more common/worse when they have to visit London? Does she share her night terrors with Benedict or does that “don’t worry about me” kick in often? 😔

Basically, I would have loved a second book just from Sophie’s POV 😅 especially since healing isn’t linear & she suffered for years (#JusticeForSophie) so to finish of this word vomit of a ramble, what’s your thoughts on Sophie’s PTSD? If you try to look into her mind, how does she heal when Araminta & Rosamund are out in society?

*cracks fingers*

Right… we all know how much I love delving into the angst and the pain of Sophie’s past so… I am going to go below the cut as this is gonna get long… and I’m sorry. (not really because you did ask…)

To me, Sophie doesn’t fully heal until she has the chance to present her daughter to the Queen (yes I know as she wasn’t presented technically she can’t, but I have the HC that Benni does a commission for Queen Victoria and she offered him a title, but he declined it, and asked instead that his wife be afforded the chance to present their daughter at court… but that is a whole other story!)

It’s only then when she feels like she is part of the ton.

Depending on the reason for the trip to London depends on how bad Sophie is before they go. If it is just to see family, for a family celebration she is excited and she is happy to go but for anything else she is nervous.

She was worse than Benedict leading up this exhibition but because she didn’t want to stress him anymore she plastered on her brave face and did the whole “don’t worry about me” routine, until a week before when Benedict finds her in the garden having a panic attack.

For the first two years of marriage, Sophie managed to avoid Araminta and Rosamund. Araminta finally married Rosamund off to some Scottish Earl and they left for Scotland, only to realise he was breaking, and they are back in London, without Rosamund’s husband (who FYI has 6 bastards… and Rosamund is literally unable to give him a legitimate child) so their social standing drops but Rosamund uses her husband’s name to get tickets to a big event that is happening in London.

Unbeknown to both parties… it was Benedict’s art exhibit as it was being shown without his name all over it, at his behest. It was only an hour or so in, that it became apparent.

Sophie was an excellent hostess but the moment she saw Rosamund and Araminta she froze. Daphne and Kate offer to throw them out but not wanting to cause a scene, Sophie wanting to bask in her husband’s glory, ignores them, until Rosamund makes her way to her.

It isn’t outwardly nasty, Rosamund would never publicly embarrass herself but when Benedict sees Sophie practically cornered, he makes a big speech about how much he loves his wife and how this wasn’t possible without her and Rosamund sulks off. (this happens to be the night of little Alex being conceived!)

Next time she sees them both, she is pregnant and she’s a little less calm about it all and may or may not have made some snide comments to Rosamund which LW praises in that week’s column, mainly because Rosamund stalked off with Araminta.

Benedict knows how much Sophie wanted to have her own season, so he does try to take her to London for a spell, they either go right at the start of the season or right at the end. They avoid some of the more particular London Mama’s but after Benedict’s first piece of art goes into the national gallery more and more people call on Sophie when she is in London, wanting to see the woman that inspired the artist and try and beg her to get her husband to do a portrait or a piece for them.

It gives Sophie great pleasure in turning them away.

But her night terrors, my sweet baby girl… Oh they plague her, they’re worse when she is pregnant, but she suffers. Sometimes there out of nowhere and she can go weeks, even months without having one and they creep up at the worst times. The week of her anniversary is always bad because of the memories of Jail.

She never used to share them with him but when he woke up one night after Charlie was born and found her sat on the floor of Charlie’s nursey sobbing and clutching their 2-month-old son like a lifeline she caved and told him.

There are so many little angsty fics I could write about this… and Sophie coping and Benedict holding her, and the boys as they get older cuddling up with their Mama when she’s having a bad day. Charlie is a protective older brother and older son but Alex… Alex ends up in the same year at Eton as one of Phillip Cavender’s son’s…

Needless to say, when the school write’s to Benedict to tell him of his son’s antics and Benedict finds out who his son was fighting and why… Phillip Cavender Jnr is no longer admitted to the school, given that the Viscount, the Duke of Hastings, Sir Phillip Crane and TWO Mr Bridgerton’s turn up at the school and basically say, they will be removing their children and no further Bridgerton’s will be allowed to attend if Cavender remains…

It is not Benedict who drives Phillip Cavender out of London the first time around either… it’s not even Anthony… it’s the Duchess and the Viscountess…

Sophie’s healing comes with time, the love of her family and as the whispers die down. It’s obvious from the off that Benedict adores and loves his wife… but by the time Sophie is pregnant with Violet, Sophie is confident in herself, with her family and is relaxed in society. Yes she still has wobbles and nightmares but her son’s or her husband hug her and tell her they love her.

Kate and Daphne have thrown enough shade at some of the women in Society that no one dares speak bad of Mrs Bridgerton and everyone starts to realise that there is more to her than meets the eye.

Sophie deals with her terrors and her wobbles as best as she can. She tries to keep herself busy, when she is at My Cottage, everyone knows to let her in the kitchen when she needs to take her mind of things. Sophie bakes when she is anxious and it doesn’t take Benedict long to work that out, but as she uses to the baking and gifts it to their tenants and goes off on visits and meets with their neighbours and the people who love and adore her… he just sighs and lets her.

He holds her close when they go to bed and whispers that he loves her, he tries not to coddle her, to try and fix it. Mainly because he fears for his life after one outrage when he tried to tell her that she was being silly.

(She’d locked herself in her study for three hours)

Benedict starts to learn of the signs when she is getting nervous or when she’s had a bad night or a bad dream. He is a ridiculously sound sleeper, so he misses most of it but when he does wake, he holds her and lets her cry. He tries to distract her when it’s coming on and usually to help her prepare they plan their trips to London in advance. They rarely go without warning. The family try to give warning so that it doesn’t stress Sophie out.

Violet knows when Lady P is in London and when she is not… and Anthony did manage to have a word with the landlord and had Lady P evicted.

Posy is the best comfort for Sophie, she understands what Sophie went through and its only after Posy made peace with her mother that Sophie seemed to be able to make some peace and found herself able to pass Araminta in London without cowering and kept her head held high.

Rosamund rarely comes into London after the death of her husband, the property in Scotland was entailed away to cousin’s, she ended up being caught trying to seduce a happily married man, at his wife’s birthday party…

Araminta’s standing is less and less, turns out… definitely should have been nicer to her other daughter and stepdaughter.

Sophie still has her wobbles (the night before Violet’s presentation she is horrendous and she’s not allowed in the Bridgerton House kitchen…) but it’s after the birth of Violet, and her nearly dying, and nearly losing her baby girl that she realises, her life is perfect, it was worth the fight and she is finally able to put her past behind her… mostly.

I’ve got SO many angsty fics I could write for all of this it’s unreal